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Philip Spiess
Mary Vore: "Old Ski-Jumps" was Miss Kincaid, nicknamed for her bodacious frontal projection. We were really nasty to her most of the time, because she was clueless. We would have her, for example, as a substitute teacher in Math, and she would begin, in a kind of weak Southern drawl, "Now Math isn't really my subject; my specialty is English, so today we're going to have a Study Hall." Two weeks later you'd have her subbing in English class, and she'd say, "Now English isn't really my subject; my specialty is History, so today we're going to have a Study Hall." And so it would go. Study Halls being as boring as a classroom can be, is it any reason we acted up?
Mr. Fish, our other famous substitute, was another fish entirely: he was a very brilliant man. (I believe his son went to WHHS, a year or two ahead of us.) Aside from looking weird and speaking in a weird way (as odd in its own way as Mr. Knab's manner of speaking), he could really teach if (and when) we'd settle down. My most glowing memory of him was in German class, where we were learning about Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (bust of him in Washington Park, across from Music Hall). He told us that Goethe's most important work was Faust, and that the most important lines in Faust, which explained the whole play and its philosophy, were: "Werd' ich zum Augenblicke sagen:/ Verweile doch! du bist so schon!" (Part I, Scene IV, lines 1699-1700: "When to the fleeting moment I say, 'Stay! Thou are so beautiful!'") -- if Faust ever admits to having such a moment, this is the very moment at which Mephistopheles can claim Faust's soul. Mr. Fish's teaching me this in high school served me well through college and graduate school German lit classes, as well as a graduate course in "German Romanticism"; professors were always impressed that I knew this point before we studied it (and some professors weren't clear on this point themselves).
But on the whole we treated our substitute teachers badly.
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