Judy Holtzer (Knopf)
Hi Barbara! That was very sweet! Thank you and refua shlema to you also.
I must admit to being very shocked when I was called in to get the result of my biopsy. In the first place, I always thought of myself as low risk for breast cancer. No one closely related to me had had breast cancer, and three years in toto of breastfeeding further lowered my risk. In the second place, I read that of all breast biopsies taken, only 20% were malignant. I even thought about going in by myself to hear the verdict, but then reconsidered and asked my brother to come with me since my sister-in-law had breast cancer in situ many years ago. Walking out of the Breast Center, I asked David a couple of times if this was a dream, and he very kindly offered to pinch me. Little brothers.....
My diagnosis was a good news/bad news sort of thing. The bad news was that it was triple negative breast cancer, for which the bottom line is that it's very difficult to treat. Hormones don't touch it since it didn't have hormone receptors. The good news was that it was caught very early (routine mammography) and the tumor was small. More good news from PET scan showed no nodes involved, no metastasis.
I never hmmed or hawed consciously, but I guess on some lower level of consciousness decided that the good news outweighed the bad news, and that was that. Ever since, I have just plowed forward.
I remember when I was younger, how my Mom would really annoy me when she used the phrase "when I kick the bucket". G-d keep her, she lived in quite good health until over 90 and then the bucket finally fell over when she was 95. Now, I am appalled at how ill-prepared my children are for my demise.
I am so often blown away by the amazing wisdom found on this forum, so if anyone has encountered this with his or her own children, I would really appreciate it if you would share. TIA
May we all be in good health. The almond trees are in full blossom here in Israel.
Judy Holtzer (Knopf)
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