Nancy Messer

I'm kind of like Larry - wondering what happened to NORMAL.  All the talk about drugs, history, opera, liqueurs (I can't even spell that one!) are very foreign to me since I was never involved/interested.  I can't contribute anything to those topics as I would be displaying my ignorance to the whole world.  All that being said, I do enjoy checking the Message Forum all the time because what everyone has to say is new and interesting to me and often funny.  I continue to be amazed at the life experiences people have.  I hope they realize how fortunate they are.

Ann Shepard (Rueve)

Nancy, for someone who has been licensed to dispense pharmaceuticals, I would have thought you above all others would be able to give us a different perspective. 

Gail Weintraub (Stern)

"Normal" appears to take on different meanings for each of us. Our paths have been divergent; yet, when all is said and done, we are the same.

Philip Spiess

Umm, Nancy, you did just spell liqueurs; are you holding out on us?  And okay, so what we've been discussing so far are not your interests; what excites you?  (Enquiring minds -- and, God help us, we're all enquiring minds -- want to know!)

As for what is NORML, I think Dale will tell us!

And Gail, while your inquiry is certainly valid (and yes, men do get breast cancer), maybe we should expand it out to who among you has had cancer -- and successfully beat it?  (I just noted Dale had colon cancer.)

Philip Spiess

Gail:  What's this about a farm in northern Ontario (sounds intriguing)?  And what is your favorite vodka?  (P.S.:  Sent a copy of my sequicentennial history of the Smithsonian article to Ira Goldberg to share with you when he comes to visit.)

Philip Spiess

Wait a minute, people!  I keep picking up (rather lately) on tossed-off lines in these comments.

Dale:  What's this reference to Spanish Fly?  Surely that is different than other drugs you're talking about?  (And yes, that brings us to the old joke about the drink that mixes Spanish Fly with Ex-Lax.  You take one swig, and you don't know whether you're coming or going!)

And Larry:  Splattering spaghetti sauce all over the kitchen -- let it go!  It's all in the pasta.  (As to the car sideways in the garage -- A guy comes home from work and says to his wife, "Mildred!  How did you get the car into the kitchen?"  "Simple," she says, "When I got to the dining room, I turned left!")

Gail Weintraub (Stern)

Phil and all,

I agree with you that we should broaden the question of cancer to all types of cancer, both female and male. I realize that this may be too personal a question for some to answer on this Message Forum site; but, it could be another interesting discussion. 

Judy Holtzer (Knopf)

While I was very sorry to hear about some people's cancers, there are many different kinds of non-normal. Today, there were 2 air-raid sirens of incoming missiles sent by our "cousins" in Gaza in the early afternoon, so I was glad that I decided to cancel my appointment to my dermatologist. Then came the early evening. There was a siren at 7:26 pm, 7:27, 7:28, 7:29, and 7:31. Bless those Patriot anti-missiles!!! I feel very safe in my "safe" room, and I certainly don't feel like I'm a hero, so do not go there! The last round of excitement, I wasn't on a walker, so did my errands and lived my life and ducked into a shelter when I needed to. I am very embarrassed that now I am compelled to ask others to do my errands since there aint a snowball's chance in hell that I will have enough time to even get out of my car in time, let alone lie prone on the ground with my hands over my head! Sigh. And then I remember the under-the-chair practices of my long-ago youth..... Please tell me this is not "what goes around, comes around" means really!!

BTW, my brother lives so much closer to the cousins that he doesn't have the time to get to shelter really, so usually doesn't bother. I worry about him a lot. Not to mention his kids, who are even closer than HE is...... 

And yet, this has become "normal" to me. You just play the hand you are dealt, folks. I was a widow at 54 years old.

Susan Patterson (Schramm)

Absolutely agree with your comment, Judy, play the hand you are dealt...however, yours seems so foreign to us.  I doubt any of us, save those who were in military zones, can even contemplate living in perpetual life threatening danger.  I know I can't.  We sit here, sipping our wine and feel relatively safe from harm.  Yes, life throws us curves that we deal with, deaths, accidents, illnesses, family issues, but bombs and rockets...not us!  Hoping your family stays safe.

Larry Klein

I'm pretty certain there are books out there somewhere about "NORMAL" in the context we've depicted here.  I'm not well read (hate it, actually), so I couldn't begin to tell you who, where or what those books are about.  But it seems to me that most of us choose and define our own "normal" as we go along through the pages of our lives.  I could have gone to Withrow HS like every one of my 6th grade classmates did, but that didn't feel normal to me.  I could have finished my degree at UC instead of joining the Marines after junior year.  And why the Marines?  Seemed nearer to my normal.  Once I did finish my degree, a masters didn't feel right, so off I went to Texas looking for a clearer path to some executive position someday.  I knew I could get there, and when I did - revelation!  That wasn't MY normal, so I moved on (or back) to a place where I knew I was the best at what I was doing.  I retired earlier than most because I had other things to do (tournament bridge, golf, managing finances for most of my family).  Now I coach the kids at Walnut in the sport I love most - golf.  It feels "normal" to me.

Through all of that "normal", many abnormal things have influenced my choices at times.  Viet Nam in '69, quitting my VP slot in '84 and living off the land (and racetracks) for a year, prostate cancer in '99, being "riffed" in '01 a year after earning "employee of the year" award (a custom Eagle sits on my TV for that one).  There have been other less traumatic events.  Each of those served to momentarily re-define MY "normal".  Yet, as Gail wrote in an earlier post, I am still the same.  We are all still the same.

I only hope we are all still the same in 2016 when we reune again, and for many more reunions after.  I boast often of being in the WHHS Class of '64 and how widely influential OUR class has been through the years.  And yet, we are still - "normal".

Philip Spiess

Well said, Larry.

Gail Weintraub (Stern)

To quote our cultural historian, "Well said, Larry."

Larry Klein

Well, said Larry - "I certainly hope the conversation doesn't end here".

Judy Holtzer (Knopf)

Larry, to the head of the class! Bravo. You said it so much better than I did...... My "normal", yes, is very un-normal for you guys, but I have chosen to make it my normal. I wish my kids, who no longer live in the south of Israel, could have understood that a few rounds ago when Beer Sheva was being fired on almost daily. They kept pestering me to leave my nest and come live with them until "quiet" returned. Now, Beer Sheva is fired on daily, just a question of when, but more important, since we let the terrorists slide the last time, now they have available many more longer-range missiles reaching both Tel Aviv and Jerusalem areas.

OK, for the betting people out there, this is a terrific chance to pick up some extra money by having pools as to how many rockets are fired each day in Ashdod, Tel Aviv, etc.  :)  Only kidding....

Doug Gordon

Larry, I pointed out to my wife the other day how accomplished so many of our classmates have been -- mayors, CEOs, medical professionals, even a Broadway producer or two -- and was wondering how typical this could be even for a school like WHHS. Well, she is a believer in "birth order effects" and pointed out that our class undoubtedly had an unusually high percentage of first-borns.

This certainly has to be true with so many of us probably like myself: born within a year of when my dad returned from the war. I think that there is probably something to this theory. Any thoughts?

Judy Holtzer (Knopf)

Doug - wow, that was brilliant. I also believe in the birth order effect, but never connected the dots between our class and our dads coming back from the war. Brilliant! And cool.

Ira Goldberg

No cigs or pot. Had a thing for a cherry cigar, but burned holes in clothes. Tried bourbon at Sue Biehle's once, but had to aim car home. Drank wine for awhile, but slowed up after someone followed me home for safety. Gwynne was not impressed. Now I like beer, NA or corona, if they count. Generally just 1/2 bottle. Flings with wallbangers, grasshoppers and White Russians when Gwynne liked them. Now, into iced tea. Pretty wild guy! Looking for a vice or two. Am sure you all have a suggestion or two. Keep em respectable if possible!

David Buchholz

The New Normal...I appreciate reading everyone's perspectives on normalcy.  Last February one morning  I woke up and discovered that I was hearing inside my head the sound of air rushing out of a tire.  I thought it would go away, but after a few days I became a bit worried.  Then a sinus infection. clogged eustachian tubes, and number of other sinus-related issues all hit me.  Still, not that worried.  In time they will go away.  The sinuses cleared, the eustachian tubes opened up (thank you, prednizone), but the sound of air rushing out of the tire remained.  (Tinnitus).  After multiple visits to ENTs i've come to realize that five months later, this is the new normal.  I hear this sound every waking minute, but it doesn't prevent me from hearing or doing anything else.  I mentioned this to some friends one night that my wife and I had accepted this as "the new normal."  She added, perhaps somewhat ominously, that there are many "new normals" to come.  Stuff happens.  We adjust.  More stuff happens.  We do what we can. 

Lillian Vendig (Bandyk)

You have commented that Judy Holtzer's life is a different normal than ours.  It is, and she shares that with all the israeli citizens currently undergoing frequent missile attacks from Gaza.  Today a temple in Tel Aviv was hit.  The Israeli citizens need our support.  The Israeli branch of Red Cross, Magen David Adom, needs our support.  If you wish to contribute, you can go to their website, American Friends of Magen David Adom, www.afmda.org,  to lend your support.

Larry Klein

Dave - welcome to MY world.  I've had tinnitus (in addition to a continuing degradation of high freq hearing) for about thirty years.  It's kinda like my shadow, except it won't disappear when I stand in the shade.  Mine comprises high-pitch stereo dial tones.  Some days, it will drown out a soprano at the opera (sorry Phil and Nelson, your opera falls on my deaf ears, literally).  Other days, I can actually hear birds chirp with my VA issued hearing aids.  Don't feel too badly though.  It gives me a perfect excuse for ignoring a lot of inane discussions at the bridge club (and there are lots).  So sorry you're experiencing it.  You will, as you say, adjust and move on.  Cheers!  (BTW - like that Irishman with the ear-flap hat, I miss out on a lot of free drink offers!)

Judy Holtzer (Knopf)

Tinnitis is awful - I've heard this from several people. Again, "normal" is learning to deal with the hand you are dealt. Pardon the redundancy. My opinion, at least. 

Nancy Messer

Judy - maybe those flutes you've been hearing are really tinnitus!

Actually, if they really are some type of animal, they wouldn't be making noise if they knew missles were flying.  So, the more you hear these flutes the safer you are.

Ann Shepard (Rueve)

While the discussion of normalcy is on the forum, I'd like to describe my journey as a series of updates where I am currently Ann version 6.7.8. We all have had challenges, both positive and negative in our lives which have changed us in some way. I think one of the greatest challenges I faced when Ann version 5.6.1 was updated after the death of my beloved Edward. To say the current version is better would be totally WRONG.  At the same time, the current version is pretty remarkable if I may boast a bit. I managed to create a new life for myself when Ann version 5.6.4 thought it would be impossible. What started out as "busy work" resulted beginning new journeys which have kept me active, engaged and certainly joyful. 

Gail Weintraub (Stern)

Ann, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your process in terms of upgrade versions. I can relate. I went through several of these versions after my husband was killed by a hit and run drunk driver in 1973. The version updates did not seem fast enough! It is a slow and painful process. "New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings." ~Lao Tzu

Richard Murdock

One more classmate here that has a constant background ringing in his ears.  From what I have been reading here, it looks like I have a milder case of this affliction that comes when you are lucky enough to get older.  Since it is background and constant, I have gotten my brain to ignore it most of the time.   However I do notice that I have to have people repeat what they say to me more often than I remember doing that at WHHS.   Isn't there some pill that will make this go away ?   If not - there definitely should be one.